Following her killer debut tour, Riawakening (Top Ten Best Stand-up Shows of 2024 - Telegraph), we caught up with the wickedly funny Ria Lina who's back with a brand-new show - Riabellion.
What’s your most memorable heckle?
When I was doing Live at the Apollo a guy just yelled out “I love you” while I was talking about getting divorced. So I yelled back, “I’m single now, call me!” I begged them to leave it in the edit, and they did – so you can see it if you google for it now. He never did call me. Still single.
When in London, where do you go for your pre/post gig food?
Eat Tokyo on Old Compton Street. If I ever won the lottery, I would totally help them become a 24-hour drive-through. Who wouldn’t want sushi at any time of day? In their car?
What’s one word to describe the state of the UK?
Binfire. Is that one word? Should be.
Who’s the best upcoming performer in the country that we haven’t heard of?
Reb Day. She’s been opening for me on tour and is so good I wouldn’t be surprised if in a couple of years I’m opening for her on tour,
Who would you describe as your arch-nemesis?
Suella Braverman. But then, isn’t she everyone’s arch-nemesis? I have never fundamentally disagreed with another Asian woman as much as I do with her. She is the antithesis of everything I think we should stand for.
When was the time you bombed the most onstage?
I did a few P&O cruises about 9 years ago, pre-pandemic at least, but it was before they were ready for more modern comedy from a non-white-older-working-mens-club comic. Not only that, I’m filipina. So the only joke that worked was when I first came onstage and said “I know you’re all wondering why aren’t I cleaning your rooms right now?” And they laughed really hard at that… and then stared at me the rest of the show.
What’s been your strangest fan encounter?
I had a guy troll me online once, and his profile indicated he was definitely a red-cap wearing American with a love of flag and country and an inability to spell. He told me to basically shut up, so I told him to f*** off, back and forth and back and forth went the (mutual) abuse till he suddenly said, “Ria, I’m just trolling you. You keep doing what you’re doing and all the best, and I wish you success for your future.” Like…. WTF??
How do you like to relax after a gig?
I usually pass out. Does that count? I get home, I sit in front of my computer as if to do work, and wake up the next morning half off my chair, drooling.
What’s the one thing you want the audience to take away from your show?
A t-shirt, a mug, and a tote bag. Kidding! I want them to walk away having had a great night of laughter, learning and love. Not necessarily in that order.
Would you rather have fingers as long as your legs or legs as long as your fingers?
Short legs – finger legs – if I had to choose, because it would make even more men taller. You’re all welcome.
Who would win in a fight: Badger or Baboon?
Baboon. Those articulated thumbs will win a thumb war every time. Not sure why the badger chose thumb war to be honest. I would have gone pistols at dawn myself.
What’s the oddest thing you’ve overheard in London?
I didn’t overhear it; it happened to me in a cafe. Apropos of nothing, the guy at the next table asks me how my day has been (which is NOT ok in London). I said, “Fine?” and then he said (yes he kept going) “Better or worse than yesterday?” and I thought, is this guerrilla therapy? And said, “No comment.” Then he said, “Happy International Women’s Day. I’m a photographer, and I took some pictures. Want to see them?” and I thought… Oh, there it is, the narcissism behind this entire exchange. I said “No”. He, of course, heard me say no and then said, “Well, I’m on Instagram, so you can see them there.” Nice to know you truly understood the point of IWD as you photographed women for your Instagram, possibly against their consent, and then tried to force those photos on another woman, definitely against her consent.