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Andrew Bird’s Leicester Square Questionnaire

21 Sep 2023

After his TV appearance on 'The Russell Howard Hour', Andrew Bird supported Russell on his massive national tour including six straight shows at The London Palladium. We caught up with Andrew before he brings his own show, Taken Seriously, to Leicester Square Theatre on 28 October.

What’s your most memorable heckle?
A drunk man in the front row was asleep. He woke up and just said “I like your shirt.” So, I got him onstage and swapped shirts with him. He then ran out of the building with my shirt and had to be chased by security.

Where do you go for your pre/post Leicester Square Theatre gig food?
I’m too stingy to eat out, so I usually eat big at home then go to Tesco Express for energy bars and bananas. That’s the man you’re dealing with here.

What’s one word to describe the state of the UK?

Who’s the best upcoming performer in the country that we haven’t heard of?
James Ellis is very good.

Who would you describe as your arch-nemesis?
The silence.

When was the time you bombed the most onstage?
At a Birmingham Christmas gig. Everyone is drunk and a man shouted “I’m waiting for a joke.” I replied “I’m waiting for an audience.” They all booed. I refused to leave the stage and ended up being escorted off the premises by security. Good gig.

How do you like to relax after a gig?
I never relax. I have a tiny window where I don’t feel intense panic (that is whilst eating a toasted jam bagel watching a music documentary). Then, straight back to panic.

What’s the one thing you want the audience to take away from your show?
The wonderful feeling of being in a room and laughing together with other people. That’s it. That and their own coat. Don’t take away someone else’s coat.

Would you rather have fingers as long as your legs or legs as long as your fingers?
I’ve got to go for fingers as long as legs. I can’t change my legs I can barely find jeans that fit as it is.

Who would win in a fight: Badger or Baboon?
I hope they would be lovers not fighters. That way, they could have little baby Babadgers…

What’s the oddest thing you’ve overheard in London?
A girl was stood on the pavement singing. Not a busker. Just a girl singing like she’s doing an X Factor audition for no reason. It was weird and awkward. Two girls walked past her and one of them just said to the other, “that is the wrong shade of foundation for her.” It was so precise and hurtful.

Andrew Bird: Taken Seriously, 28 October.