Count Arthur Strong's Leicester Square Questionnaire
COUNT ARTHUR STRONG
"Pure genius and pure tribute to the golden age of vaudeville”. Bruce Dessau, Evening Standard
What’s your most memorable heckle?
‘I want my money back!’ I shouted it at John Bishop.
Where do you go for your pre/post Leicester Square Theatre gig food?
I don’t eat prior to performance because most things repeat on me and the last thing I want is to be belching my way through a show. Afterwards, I’ll probably go to The Ritz, if they’ll let me in, and have Eggs Benedict or a sausage sandwich.
What’s one word to describe the state of the UK?
Snog, Marry, Avoid - Priti Patel, Piers Morgan, Andrew Neil
I’d like Priti Patel to marry Andrew Neil and I’d avoid Piers Morgan. In fact I’d avoid all three of the idiots.
Who’s the best upcoming performer in the country that we haven’t heard of?
A young man called Barry Cryer. Look out for him! He’s going places. And I don’t just mean the betting shop.
Has lockdown influenced your material? If not, why?
Nothing influences my material. Because nothing influences my material.
Who would you describe as your arch-nemesis?
Next doors cat. I’ve only got to take one more photo of it doing it’s mess on my grass, then I can take it to court.
When was the time you bombed the most onstage?
What’s been your strangest fan encounter?
All my fans are strange. Have you seen them?
Where’s your favourite place to tour?
A stage. In a place. With people there, preferably. And a bar. In fact, just a bar.
How do you like to relax after a gig?
Watch a bit of television back at the hotel. They usually stick a Jean-Claude-van-Damme-film-on-at-2-in-the-morning. That usually puts me to sleep.
What’s the one thing you want the audience to take away from your show?
I don’t want them to take anything away. Just leave the theatre quietly with what they came with.
Would you rather have fingers as long as your legs or legs as long as your fingers?
Depends on the situation. I can see some merit in having both. Though not at the same time. Obviously. That would be stupid.
Who would win in a fight: Badger or Baboon?
How do I know? I’m not David Attenborough. The Budgie?